La Esperanza – 11 in x 14 in – Egg Tempera on Panel
Esperanza (Spanish for hope) but more than just a wishful thinking of something to be that is not, it speaks of a deep longing for something that appears unreachable, untouchable. The person pictured in this painting is my mother. Her gaze off into the distance reveals her deep thoughts and longing for something that she feels is not unattainable. For me this image is about my own deep longing, my own esperanza. A few years ago I took my son and newborn daughter from my hometown in Pennsylvania, to a desert in Texas. To a presumably better life. In the midst of that decision I left a trail of broken hearts and shattered dreams that haunt me every second I am away. The minutes turn into hours turn into days and as time slips by I feel more and more desperate and anxious to be back in the midst of familiar faces and familiar places. The door in this painting has the numbers 210 on it. To many this will be overlooked as simply a house address but it is actually the area code of where I currently reside. To me those three numbers represent isolation, loneliness and heartbreak. I live behind that closed door and have the hope or esperanza that I one day I will open that door from my house and step into the street with my mother and be home. That is what this work represents for me. A deep sadness, longing of something that seems so unattainable due to the decisions I have made